I titled this "Hitting Milestones" because I feel like I am hitting some major milestones in my life. Now 22, with my second in the oven, I realize how much Motherhood has changed me. My son, has made me into a women. I had so many dreams, expectations of what my life would be before I became a Mom. Having a son who is delayed really made me change the most. I expected him to be the smartest baby in the world, and hit all his milestones, never get sick, and basically be super baby. I thought if I ate healthy, exercised, and tried to do everything by the book I would have the healthiest, awesomest baby. He ended up being the complete opposite. I noticed early on, he was set in his ways. He was late with sitting up, crawling, walking, and of course talking. He is now 26 months, and starting to say words. He's been in speech therapy for a good 4 months, and it's been leaps and bounds ever since he started. I think alot of women don't talk about there kids having any type of delay because people automatically assume that means your child is "slow" or has some type of learning disability. My son is DELAYED, and I am proud of him! He has no problems learning, or doing things he just takes longer to do them. When I go to the Child Development Center and see the other children, I think of how crazy it is that these kids are labeled as delayed. All of them are so bright, and eager to learn just in different ways. I really would love for these standards that are put onto our kids to be changed. You can't expect all children to develop equally, and that's what makes them who they are, one of a kind. Boo, seems to be catching up with his age group because he is now at a almost 2 year old level with his speaking. The thing is..at first I wanted him to talk, and reach all the goals the therapists had for him, but he has surpassed those goals in weeks. He has done more then we expected and it just makes me think he is looking at us as if we are the fools. I know he is a perfectly healthy, happy 2 year old and that satisfies me. Yes my 2 year old is in a crib, still loves his binky, and isnt potty trained. Does that make me a failure? No. That is where he is at, and I can't force him to be anything else but himself. I think when mothers have had a child who does all those things easily, they look at us moms who have the children set in there ways as if we aren't pushing them enough...or "how could you let him sleep with a binky at 2?" The best advice I have for any new mom is, accept your child for who they are! I wanted my son to get rid of his binky when he was a baby, but he wont sleep without it. I've restricted it to bed time only, but when he's ready to give it up, so am I. He's just about to start potty training because he seems ready to start. I've had some moms brag about how there baby gave up there binky at 6 months, and was potty trained at 12-18 months, and thats awesome but it's not fair to judge other peoples parenting if there child doesn't do the same.
I never thought I'd be in the position where my child would'nt just do what I wanted him to do. Amazing how I thought I could control everything. I have done everything I could possibly do and know how hard I have worked to give Boo the best life possible. One thing that has been amazing to experience recently is reading with him. He never was into it but I still have more books then toys. Now he brings me his books, and we read all the time. He points and says words, it's hard not to cry sometimes just watching him look at picture in a book! How ridiculous is it that I want to cry just looking at his face? My hormones have gotten the best of me. When he kisses me, hugs me, smiles and talks to me I feel out of this world. God gave me a amazing gift that I am unworthy of but he still gave me the chance to experience the most precious love in the world. When I think about Alex being here....it's so surreal. I can picture him here. I see him already even though hes not here yet. Infact there are moments, where I see my "3" children fighting, crying, and playing together. It's as if the Lord is showing me a glimpse into the future. Boo becoming the Big Brother is also a huge milestone in his life. He is going to be taking on the role of the "leader." I know he's going to be great. He seems to think Scout (the green puppy) is his baby. He loves his Scout, and is so gentle with him.
I'm ready for this baby no matter what. The year of breastfeeding, getting back into shape to start Fitness Modeling, and then going for baby number 3. Seems like the years are going by too fast. I was 19 when i got pregnant with Boo, now 22 having alex...where has the time gone? I'll probably be 25,26 when I have our third...then 30 will be here before I know it. I just think about how as a kid you can't wait to grow up, but as a adult it sucks growing up. I hate seeing my baby boy, become a toddler, soon preschooler. All the sacrafices we make as mothers are temporary. Our babies dont stay small forever, we dont lose sleep forever, we dont breastfeed forever, pregnancy isnt forever...were on borrowed time so it's important to take in everyday even if its a bad one. I guess I realize I am now a grown up, and my dreams have changed. I have changed so much. Now I dream of 3 kids, a successful modeling carrier for myself and children, a great marriage, sleeping in, and time to take a shower and blowdry my hair..hahaha. I am sure 5 years from now I will have new dreams..but for now these are it.
Have a audition for a maternity fitness video on Tuesday and really hoping I get it. Boo and I have doctors appointments the day before, hes getting 3-4 shots, Tuesday he also has speech therapy. Wish me luck on finding a sitter and managing to get to the casting on time looking fabulously pregnant and fit hahaha. Happy New Years to you all
